Humanity in Rest(ing)
Remember that time we acknowledged paradox in how rest can be both the perfect arena for resilience and a form of work?
‘Reprieve’, 35mm film © Flory Huang, 2020.
Like many of the best (yet most) difficult things in life, rest is easier spoken of than actually resting because it can be overwhelmingly uncomfortable in our modern world. Cognitively, basic biology identifies that we’re living organisms with finite energy. Culturally and communally in North America, the West traumatically suffers from the lack of rest. We haven’t yet intrinsically valued rest as a fundamental living practice that is embodied, explored and experienced. Moment to moment, days, weeks, months, years, our whole lifetimes. When is the last time you slowed down for rest only to find yourself automatically scrolling through your inbox or Instagram; suddenly noticing your entire body hurts; feeling a gnawing pit in the bottom of your stomach; hearing the faint scratching of anxiety in the corners of your mind; or simply got real agitated?
(For me, it was the beginning of the month while I was moving. While it was a positive life change— the days’ worth of moving parts was with hellish with packing and unpacking, cleaning and errands amid ongoing work and life— I was really exhausted. My brain was keeping tabs and Tetris-ing all aspects of my life to the hour, my body was lifting/reaching/standing/walking in ways I’m not usually and I was deeply grieving a closing chapter of my life that I truly cherished and facing new unknowns. Showing up in my own private space and time to process my awareness, meditate, regulate my nervous system and nourish my energy was really friggin’ hard knowing that the world around me was still erupting with violence and aggression. And in my fatigue, I didn’t have the energy to stay clear; worry, shadow, and doubt were spilling in. It feels like you’re on a sinking boat with a mug… it’s trying. I was feeling over-stimulated and I wanted to escape. I wanted a different form of rest than what I had available. That realization was the indicator for me to double-down in the uncomfortable types of rest I didn’t want but needed.)
As the world turns through August 2020, I notice a lot of messaging and content reminding people to rest on my radar in the tumultuous digital seas of information. Amazing. How beautiful to see communities rally towards prioritizing rest! And yet… offline we find the complexity that Instagram posts and brand profiles can’t convey. A lot of people aren’t extending their compassion and care within, to themselves. Some are pushing through the month simultaneously weighed by the ongoing global pandemic, unjust human rights violations including the traumatic silencing and oppression of BIPOC, raging international tragedies and economic turbulence— to name only a few of the collective issues and magnitude of world events— all on top of personal lives shaped by each of our respective ambitions, relationships, needs, stressors and location-specific variables… Cue 3 bellyful breaths in and audible sighs out here. Ow, my heart.
Our human, egocentric nature sure loves to find success through strife (“You don’t know if you don’t try”… right?) and it’s activating to think of ourselves as extraordinarily limitless individuals. I believe we are limitless— I just also know that force, unconsciousness and the pursuit of short-term, external gratification cost us our whole selves when it comes from places of performance, shame or guilt. There’s a better way of being, and it’s radically rested.
The rest we crave and withhold from ourselves are often associated with narratives in our social fabric and in our personal lived experience. Rest can be really difficult just as much as it can be really easeful. It can also be the discomfort and inconvenience of being both. And more. The thing is, our rest(ing) is just as human as we are. We just become biased in labelling our spectrum of experience with rest, and naturally lean away from the unpleasant. See where I’m going with this? Rest is noun and more importantly, a verb. There are as many forms of/for restedness as there are different qualities and they can all be celebrated. The way self-care extends beyond pampering tasks, the same way rest requires our self-awareness and mindfulness.
How do your personal and communal climates impact your response(s) to rest?
All we resist, persist…
Because where our attention goes, energy flows. (Spiritually and literally, neurophysiologically.)
If you’ve ever bargained with yourself or thought you could hack your humbling biology you’re no stranger to the, “I’ll take a break after I survive this week til I make it to Friday” or good ol’ denial, ‘I’m fine. This is totally fine. Everything is fine.’
For the longest time, I structured my entire life around the things I n̶e̶e̶d̶e̶d̶ wanted to get done, like work, while neatly scheduling what I truly needed (being mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually present) into hourly blocks in my calendar as an extension of my To Do List. Often, I ended up skimping on important time to myself, self-nourishment and addressing things that I may have perceived as boring but required my attention. I bargained with myself, ‘Look, I’m making time for rest. Go Flo for having it evidently written down in the books, color-coded and all.’ [In Morgan Freeman’s narrating voice, “Flory, in fact, was not really resting.”]
10+ years’ worth of burnout (all breeds across the spectrum and through my personal and professional realms), weak boundaries, not enough energy to discern priorities and people, experiencing overwhelming anxiety and depression symptoms, physical manifestations of inflammation due to stress and huge blows to my self-esteem all drove it home for me. Each time I crashed and burned, or got burnt, was an extreme opportunity of learning and readjusting.
Dominant, white supremacist colonial capitalism has people living and businesses operating backwards. The powerful design for orienting profits and productivity are maximized at the cost of people, with fixation on output and money. The Rested Revolution and I firmly reject the defeat of shaking heads and sighing out, “That’s just the way it is.” Belief systems are ever-evolving cultures that require subscription, which we choose to stay subscribed or are unsubscribed to. Does that feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, uncertain or isolating? Juicy. Note this as one place to start within yourself. Get curious, and while remembering to breathe, explore where that comes from/where that leads. Notice what you desire and what you are committed to; more importantly, notice why and where that line is drawn. Where we opt in and out has always mattered and right now, it’s more crucial and impactful than ever.
It’s a big responsibility and lifelong commitment to acknowledge your whole self and the impact you have in your community, locally and globally. It certainly doesn’t happen overnight either. One of our collective opportunities around rest is community care. Community care ensures we’re not burdened alone or without resources. Community care creates equity and accessibility. Community care means we’re reducing harm and oppression, within ourselves and with each other. When we’re authentically individually well, it ripples out naturally. No bargaining or hacks necessary. More living and more thriving. When we’re connected and collaborating we are also showing up to recognize and allow our humanity. Our humanity mirrors the order of nature in range and depth: this empathy and awareness doesn’t (won’t) always feel empowering because it’s also what feels the dark, heavy, painful, tragic, violent and overwhelming. May we be informed and allow multitudes, to be deeply connected with what is just at the same time that we will practice self-compassion and not harm ourselves in the process.
So where does one even begin in this fast-paced, information-brimming and violently layered world? How do we even begin to practice new things? Within. Because you are your own guru.
When we have energy, we have attention. When we have attention, we can
direct it and may choices
decline our fear, doubt and hesitation so we can show up for the world and each other
be present for joy, liberation and peace
focus and move intentionally through our world
show up for ourselves and others
find truths and contextualize with discernment
heal, learn and grow
be more mindful
create and innovate
forgive
respond
and so much more…
What ways of resting do you crave?
What ways of resting do you withhold?
What ways of resting do you need but not want?
Questions or feedback? Get in touch, I’m here.
