Discernment & Degrees of Restedness
This is an invitation to experiment with the different degrees or subtler qualities of resting our whole selves.
The time to be radically rested is now.
© Flory Huang, 35mm.
We currently lack nuance and confident depth in both our individual and collective orientation towards rest. It’s certainly important to remind ourselves to rest and then to rest the different parts of ourselves that show up in the world. Yet the compartmentalization of our physical, mental, emotional, creative, social, spiritual etc. doesn’t always simplify, instead it too quickly leads to pathology and colonial capitalism. If we’re at a surface or fence, outside looking in and categorizing our own selves, there’s still too much distance and disconnect.
It’s not lost on me that many systems of our everyday culture discourage the time, space, attention and longform interactions required to distinguish these subtleties, nevertheless the ability itself to explore or to experience being a privilege to access. Whether it’s the instantaneity of the internet and its communication channels; the capitalization on obtaining and consuming more-more-more-more-more right now; or the ongoing and insidious systems of oppression that force this choice into luxury beyond basic survival, I believe it’s still worth every bit and we can choose to provide as much opportunity as possible for each other to do so. It matters because our wellbeing and liberation matter. What if we begin within, even in our resting? Moving from places of restfulness rather than obligation.
At The Rested Revolution we remember that restedness is a way of being, a conscious choice of fierce love and softness ever fluid and shifting over time along with us. Before we take action or non-action for (re)connecting to our restedness, we can be deliberate with it too. This won’t always be possible because we are human and life is hard, so this is still an ongoing practice and in no way a performance that could ever be perfected, evaluated or awarded.
In the numerous workshops, facilitations, and sessions I’ve had the honor of guiding over the past 2.5 years, I know that asking the right questions will always be more impactful than having hundred of answers. In these containers where attendees are offered deep inquiry and embodied explorations of the relationship with resting while witnessing and sharing with each other, it is without fail that intuition and self-awareness always already have all the information we are searching for and need to choose to tend to our unrest and restlessness. In skin and spirit. Every time, truly. In our cultures, perhaps where we can focus the limited energy we do have on gently navigating the barriers and blocks that contribute to a narrative of not choosing rest or needing to earn it.
I’ve been reflecting on a growing list of qualities of restedness that have frequently been on my radar this past year. It’s not exhaustive— certainly not beyond the limitations of language and my own subjective experiencing— yet I hope it might at least ping a point of reference or two for your own. If we begin within ourselves in what is unseen yet sensed and embodied, there are different essences to why and thus how we’re receiving more restedness. Like each organ in our physiology has its own energetic frequency, different degrees of rest can be attuned to. (No pun intended.)
Sometimes this externally looks like needing both the sweaty workout and a nap in a day. Sometimes it’s a choise where we turn everything off, close our eyes and lie down to connect with spirit, touch our ancestors and convene with our guides. Other times, we need to pivot in the careers of our labor and work to be in different environments and relationships. Resting can be as complex or demanding as having the hard yet clarifying conversations. The key to our restedness may be the ‘no’ that you don’t want to vocalize. There may be another key that you formerly deemed ‘quitting’, yet is a doorway through to soul-alighting purpose and passion.
Restorative Rest seems to be what people are most used to associating with resting. Restoration for the filling-back-up-of-the-cup, a recovery following exertion or expansion. It’s typically a slower speed or even becoming completely still to afford for a return to a certain capacity.
And it can be so much more. We can trace the threads of colonial capitalism when rest is currently a cultural antonym to work. Binary is so damn boring and binding. I wonder how much more restfulness we could consciously receive in a moment if we released the association of restorative rest to certain metrics like pace. Sometimes moving slowly is restorative for one person yet draining for another.
Energizing Rest is how I’ll refer to being energized. It’s often overlooked as a nuanced (yet essential) way we rest because of the polarized conceptual model mentioned above. There is a large number of people who are not exactly exhausted because of not resting enough but because there isn’t enough joy, passion, love, play, wonder or sense of vitality that’s lighting them consistently over time and in their day-to-day. This discernment determines the different outcomes between burnout and expansion. Expending (too much) energy depletes us; energizing ourselves with that energizes us resources us. A regenerative way to be rested: we must honor our inner child, the beauty in the world, possibility and connection with each other.
Fulfillment in Restedness is very unique to each and every one of us. This essence of restfulness is the clear conscience, the peace of mind, heart and soul stuff that we wake to and fall asleep to. One of those beautifully intricate aspects of our human experience that likely shifts throughout our lives and experiences. Our mind, heart and soul are oriented towards the fulfillment of our dreams and desires. In the world we currently live in, these compete with (and are even conditioned to be suppressed by) egoic distortions, scarcity, oppression, survival and excessive neverending distractions. While fulfillment isn’t a destination, it’s the alignment of our values with our direction and momentum. Integrous being and integrous business are foundational.
Surrendering as Rest is one of the most cathartic yet terrifying experiences we can engage in. Because sometimes, the most restful thing we can do when we’re tired is be tired. It’s easy to lose so much more energy and capacity in the judging, controlling, oppressing, criticising and avoiding of ourselves when we forget to simply be in our full nature. We have full spectrums of experiencing, feeling and growing, too. For me, there’s an inner quiet that understands our spiritual nature is also here for our human experience. In these sacred embodiments is where resting becomes resistance in a world that exploits and extracts.
Regulating (Grounding) Rest is for whenever I’ve felt scattered or frazzled despite lying down on the couch, or unable to fall asleep after waking up in the middle of the night. I realize my physiology is not as regulated as it could be so somatic processing can be incredibly restfulness when we engage in an informed, secure and supported way*. For my generation, the past 3 years has been the collective dysregulator of our life as we knew it. In the inflammation of our inner and outer worlds there is so much happening.
*work with and learn from your certified professionals and practitioners to tend to yourself in these ways.